Teaching our children how to manage their emotions can be challenging for us as parents, especially when we feel unprepared or lack the right tools. But that doesn’t mean we should shy away or give up, even if we don’t always have the answers or struggle with our emotions sometimes.
Every child deserves the opportunity to develop this fundamental skill; it is our obligation as parents to seek assistance to guide them. If you’re unsure how to help your child navigate their emotions, you’re already taking an essential step in the right direction by being aware and ready to learn.
My name is Kim, and I’m Jane’s mother. Jane is four years old and cheerful and entertaining. However, when her emotions are high, she feels like a storm has arrived, like many other youngsters her age. Even something as small as accidentally dropping food at the dinner table can overwhelm her with frustration, bringing on tears as if something bigger had happened.
These instances can make Jane feel angry and cry a lot. I often wonder if Jane will ever learn to cope with these overpowering emotions alone. What can I do to help her get through these emotional storms?
Emotional Regulation: What Is It?
Before we discuss solutions, let’s define emotional regulation.
It’s the ability to recognize, manage, and respond to emotions in a balanced and healthy way.
Even as adults, emotions can feel overwhelming—as if they are too huge to grasp or intense to escape. We’ve all been there, where disappointment or frustration takes over. However, we have techniques for managing these emotions, which many learn as children.
Some of us learn to manage our emotions more effectively than others, but it all derives from the foundation we laid as children. That is why educating our children on these same emotional tools from a young age is critical so they are prepared to deal with life’s ups and downs.
Young children like Jane face the challenge of growing their brains, particularly the parts responsible for emotion regulation. While emotional regulation may be challenging for them right now, the good news is that with our advice and support, they may learn to manage these intense sensations over time.
Practical Strategies to Help Kids Manage Emotions
If you find yourself in a scenario like mine, here are some tactics that worked for Jane and may help your child manage emotional waves:
1. Acknowledge and validate their feelings
When Jane became concerned about spilt food, I immediately remarked, “It’s not a big deal.” But for Jane, it was. Telling her it was not a big deal left her feeling misunderstood.
Instead, address their sentiments by responding, “I see you are upset because your clothes got dirty.” Children must understand that their emotions are authentic and will feel supported if they acknowledge their sentiments.
2. Teach them how to label emotions
Children frequently experience solid emotions but may not know how to express them. Teaching emotional vocabulary is the first step towards their regulation.
“Are you mad, sad, or frustrated?” ask your youngster. Giving children the vocabulary to express their emotions assists them to communicate more effectively, lowering the likelihood of an emotional explosion.
3. Introduce calming techniques
After acknowledging your child’s emotions, help them find a method to act. Jane enjoys deep breathing. We sit together and take three slow, deep breaths. This simple act allows her to regain control.
Other ideas include:
- Squeezing a plush animal.
- Counting to ten.
- Have a comfortable “calm-down corner” where you can rest when needed.
4. Make It a Team Effort
Rather than telling your child to calm down, try saying, “Let’s work through this together.” Your support reassures your kid, and it’s true they don’t have to face their emotions alone. It will also build trust and make your kids feel secure in their emotional journey.
5. Praise the Effort, Not Just the Outcome
Whenever Jane uses words to express her frustration instead of having an outburst, I praise her effort. Positive reinforcement, like saying, “You did a great job telling me how you felt!” helps children understand they’re making progress, even if the results aren’t perfect.
6. Stay Patient with the Process
Emotional regulation is a learned skill that takes time and needs parents’ patience. Children need consistent practice.
Stay patient with the Process, understanding that each emotional episode is an opportunity for growth for you and your child.
Key Takeaways
- – Accept and support your child’s emotions: Ensure your child knows they are understood.
- – Teach your child’s emotions vocabulary: Help them describe their feelings.
- – Introduce calming techniques: Use breathing exercises or establish a relaxing environment.
- – Make it a Team Effort: the winning strategy is: “Let’s work together “
- – Celebrate the hard work! Celebrate their hard work instead of just the results. Your kid tried to tell you she is angry; encourage how he came to tell you how he feels.
- – Keep being patient: Good things take time to happen.
You and your child can build a strong foundation for emotional health and well-being using these techniques and strategies.
If you have some other techniques to help your child regulate their emotions, share them with others, and if you have any questions or seek guidance, don’t hesitate to contact us.
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